i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
