she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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