If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
