Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
