Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
