32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
