I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
