No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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