I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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