One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
