help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
