im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize