You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
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