is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
