Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
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