Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
