theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
