Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
