do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
he just fucked me for my cheese.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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