somebody snuck up and got me drunk
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
