I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
