i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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