Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
