so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
