There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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