I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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