And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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