Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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