This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
