dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
