The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
