Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she smelled like a LAN party
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize