i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
