i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
