he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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