remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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