I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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