So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
