You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
