I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
