Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
