I cannot find my penis.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
