i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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