Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
