Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Randomize
