we're blogging at a bar
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I will be naked everywhere
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
