Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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