It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize