dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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