4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
