just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
