Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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