dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
