and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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