I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
