Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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