I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
