so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
