Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Drunk is a universal language darling
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
