I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Sext me about skeletons
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
