My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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