THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
