Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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