I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
